My sister and I went through few days of being torn between wanting to realize our dreams and projects, and feeling like something constantly pulled the break. Really unpleasant this pull in two directions. I have not checked the Schuhmann resonance yet, it might well have an influence (it is a scientific measurement to indicate the level of energy, which is flooding the earth to upgrade us all). My sister feels its the premenstrual hormones making it hard to be in satisfying production flow, which is interesting to observe. Blockages and fear patterns show more clearly in those times.
I decide to explore another path, though. I sit with the information that I find in me, that stark and calling bit of densified data in my chest. First there is this the emotion of tangible despair. A roughly 30 centimeter long twisted whitish bit of energy torn, just right of my heart in the middle of my body. I sense into it and make immediate contact with deep fear of failure, a very old wound of not having achieved before what I came here to do. Hundreds if not thousands of times. Each of these lives have been training or boot camps on this planet to prepare myself to face shadow, to deal with shadow on earth, around her and in her and in all the beings. I am ready. And still this old, old wound ….that reverberates somewhere in the vastness of my soul aspects, in one or the other of my billions of life-experience-threads…has the power to shake me. Enough to create a blockage in my higher trust and deep-seated knowing of freedom and flow. What to do?
I sit down in silence and contact my spirit team to heal the wounding where my body indicates that it sits white and shining. And to harmonize this healing with my intense urge to succeed, to be love and light and to raise up into the highest layers of this and other universes to do work there. To pull down as much healing light as I possibly can. So, my list to my spirit team goes as follows: Harmonisation of the data in my wound, the unimpeded will to push on and up and the former experience of what my mental pattern labels “failure”. Secondly, the continuous and unhindered flow of manifestation of my increasing soul confidence, subliminal and not. Third, complete integration of my highest soul-god-light in my body. Oh, yes, never be modest with what you so very much feel in you, tell the universe…it is on the outlook for human incarnates who dare to reach back up into the full glory of their light-love…
This is very deep work on very old wounds who hold layers and layers of conscious and unconscious data to be cleared and loved up. More clearing will be needed, and it will show me more shadow. Be it mine or be it from the collective. Each time the (light) work at hand gains authority. Meaning the speed for change increases.