Uncertainty

Learning to listen to our hearts is a constant training ground. I am to leave to a retreat for 36 hours. I presented this idea to my kid yesterday and both my kids let me know that I have been away enough already. Well, true. I hadbeen up a mountain for a night before Christmas and then needed to go up another to pay for their skiing class, and yesterday I worked from a cafe for about 5 hours (while they went up yet another mountain with a friend of mine). So much free movement is only possible because their dad is here till New Year’s. And I take advantage of that of course. I explained this to my children and they seemed to understand, it made sense to them.

But hey, I t in my meditation for a good two hours this morning trying to figure out whether it was the RIGHT thing to do. Knowing that there is no RIGHT thing. There is a strong streak in me to move and see and explore, and I love doing things with the four of us too. So there was something I desire versus something else that is heartwarming. Two good things, wow, I thanked the universe for the abundance in my life. And I know: Guilt has no place on our search for selftruth, self need, self respect. Guilt manifests when we listen to the fears and judgment of others instead if the knowing in our hearts.

My children are safe with their dad and their friends while I am gone. And I feel great joy seeing myself up there writing on my book and meeting a friend. So I decided to leave.

Only thing was my family woke up so late that I had little time to say my goodbyes, and I couldn’t let go easily as a part of me still was a bit unsure whether they would be a happy as they possibly could be with me not there. Crazy thought, lovely thought. A feeling to see and transmute in the blue light of trust.

I bathed them all in the light of clarity and the light of protection before I flew out the door. Of course I missed my train and I had to laugh about it. The energy of uncertainty is rather disturbing, not pleasant at all. I suggest you work with your helpers immediately when you feel in two minds and hearts about something so they can help us understand and clear old data that clouds our vision and mental space.

Powerfully trust your heart. There ar no wrong decisions. There is only learning and maturing. This lanet is our training ground to find back into full heartlovepower.

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